Useful new advice if you’re being shot at

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The Government has produced a video offering the public advice on what to do in the event of terrorists shooting at you.

The excellent new short film comes as a welcome piece of information to a public who had previously been confused by people wielding guns, and were not hiding properly.

Local man, Peter Thape admits that until he’d seen this new film, he’d always thought to run towards bullets as fast as he could.

‘I’m about to watch the sequel, which explains what noise to make if you get shot,’ said Thape.

‘The new advice says to shout-out in pain. More useful info there, because I’d been planning to just eat a sandwich,’ added Thape.