‘We’ll take a few sexual assaults to keep the cab fares down,’ say fans of Uber


Uber fans are reminding the public that the low fares, and convenience of an Uber cab are well worth the occasional journey with a sex case.

Taxi user, Murial Hislop is saving on the higher black cab fares by using Uber’s plentiful supply of day-release prisoners, and unregistered migrants.

Although Hislop accepts that a sexual assault would destroy her life, she points to the massive savings that she’s made by using the App.

‘Uber works on the Ryanair principle,’ said Hislop.

‘The stewardess can take a dump in my lap, as long as the flight is cheap. That’s how we roll nowadays,’ added Hislop.