Whole day goes by without a gun massacre in an American school

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American parents are applauding their children out of school today, after celebrating a day where none of their kids have been shot.

Parents fired their semi-automatic weapons into the air in wild celebration as their kids broke with the normal tradition of often being shot.

National Rifle Association spokesman, Peter Thape spoke bravely of a day when a sidearm, a taser, and a bullet proof vest will become a part of the school uniform.

‘It’s stupid people who are causing the problems here, not guns,’ said Thape.

‘It’s a good job half the country aren’t stupid, otherwise there’d be non-stop shootings,’ added Thape.