Arse washers of the world are in hysterics after the rest of society was threatened by a shortage of toilet roll.
Local bottom washer, Peter Thape has not used toilet roll for years, after douching himself clean every time, then drying himself on the hand towel that you dry your face with.
Thape claims that the installation of the weird little anus and genital polisher has been worth the years of ribbing he’s received.
‘You can all go and fuck yourselves,’ said a compassionate Thape.
‘Who’s laughing now!’ he added.