‘You’re all thinking I’m a cock, aren’t you?’ asks May

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Theresa May has finally united the nation, in thinking that she’s a cock.

May has managed to bring together Brexiteers, Remainers, and the other 27 EU nations in thinking she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

But Theresa  May is set to have the final laugh, because hanging on to her position just a little bit longer will bring in her £50 Christmas bonus.

‘£50, Suckers!’ said May.

‘Plus, the EU will agree to everything, and I’ll end up a hero,’ added May, laughing wildly.