‘50 million extra Nurses, and they’ll all be pretty,’ say Tories

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There’ll be 50,000,000 extra nurses if The Conservative Party win the General Election, and most of them will be pretty.

That proud boast has come from Boris Johnson, who is keen to make the NHS the centre of his Party’s policy making.

Should the Tories win the Election, every adult in Britain will either be a nurse, or have their own nurse.

‘Actually, there won’t be any extra nurses,’ Johnson admitted privately.

‘But, I can say any shit I want at the moment,’ he added.