All Catholics asked to leave the UK under new DUP/Tory Alliance

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Theresa May has managed to strike a key deal with The Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) that allows her to remain in power.

The medieval, Northern Irish nutcases have guaranteed to support Theresa May’s government in exchange for shipping all the Catholics out of the country.

The DUP pushed hard for the expulsion of all homosexual people, and anyone that had ever had an abortion, but Mrs. May stood strong in her negotiations.

‘In the circumstances, losing the Catholics was a pretty good deal,’ said May.

‘It’s been a good week; think I’m ready to negotiate with Europe now,’ added May.