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Aristocratic millionaire from Eton to help out his local country

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Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is going to put forward his strategy today for helping out The United Kingdom.

Johnson, who has known he would be Prime Minister since he was a little boy, will help out England and some of her neighbouring colonies for a few years, before becoming a Lord.

Today Johnson will pretend that he has a solution to Brexit, and various other problems of his own making, before gently gliding into Number 10.

‘Probably have to jape round with the proletariat for a few years,’ admitted Johnson.

‘Still, it’s a jolly good game, Politics,’ added Johnson.

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