Tory voting bank robbers are leaving the Conservative Party in numbers after Boris Johnson compared their traditional outfit to an item of Muslim clothing.
Leading bank robber, Peter Thape has built his working wardrobe upon thousands of years of dedicated thefts, heists, and raids, and has little time for these johnny-come-lately religious fads.
Thape has worn them all…balaclavas, dark glasses, and funfair masks, and he doesn’t believe that Muslims are bringing anything new to the art of hiding one’s face.
‘The Muslim women could try a sort of Groucho Marx comedy glasses and tache – that would probably do it,’ said Thape.
‘I once tried it, but the cigar stopped me getting my demands across clearly to the teller,’ added Thape.