Brexit postponed until Ireland floats apart


The problem of the Irish border has been resolved by waiting until the North and South naturally separate before then allowing Brexit to kick in.

The new solution means that Brexit will still definitely go ahead, but not for some time, which will please vocal remainers.

The time scale is a tough one to gauge, but land masses are moving all the time, noticeably with North and South America only recently splitting up.

‘I think i’ve found an answer to the border problem,’ said a confident Theresa May.

‘Now, let’s get back to the original issue of stopping brown people coming in,’ added May.