Chancellor sets aside funds to fight zombies


With the end of civilisation on the horizon, the Chancellor has prudently put aside money to fight the rise of the zombies.

Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, admitted that he wasn’t expecting the end of the world when he took the job on a few weeks ago.

Sunak had been planning to just pretend that he was going to help out The North, increase NHS spending, and all the usual bollocks.

‘Probably going to have to say something proper today,’ said Sunak.

‘Was just going to dick about, but I bet my speech ends up on the telly now,’ he added.