The nation has breathed a collective sigh of relief after the children who were going to line the streets waving little American flags have all been released, following the cancellation of Trump’s visit.
The children, who had been fattened up, and made to enthusiastically wave little American flags on pain of death, were eventually reunited with their families this morning.
Several attempts to free the children had failed, after Prime Minister May reinforced the importance of our special relationship with the United States.
‘The reports of torture were never proved!’ rebuffed an angry Prime Minister, May.
‘But, yes… the country owes those children a massive debt,’ admitted Prime Minister May.