Europe quite happy to sign a deal that f*cks UK up the arse

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EU leaders have been racing down to the meeting room in Brussels this morning to get that deal signed, quick style.

Jean-Claude Juncker couldn’t get his breakfast down quick enough, fuckin’ off his usual second bowl of coco pops, so that he could get back to his room for his favourite pen.

Bukake victim, Theresa May wasn’t allowed in the breakfast buffet, but was instead given a small fruit juice to drink in the smoker’s bit, near the skips.

‘I just want the whole thing to be over,’ said May.

‘If you all vote for me now back home too, the whole thing will all just go away,’ added May.