‘Everything’ll be ok,’ says man who’s opening pubs before schools

Handout photo issued by 10 Downing Street of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, during a media briefing in Downing Street, London, on coronavirus (COVID-19). PA Photo. Issue date: Wednesday June 10, 2020. See PA story HEALTH Coronavirus. Photo credit should read: Pippa Fowles/10 Downing Street/Crown Copyright/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.

A man who is opening pubs before finding a way to educate our children has assured the nation that he’s on top of the virus problem.

Hot on the heels of creating a way for millionaires to play football with each other, Mr Johnson has written off education for at least six months.

Local dad, Peter Thape needed to take his daughter out of school for half a day last year within term time.

‘To get the permission, we needed an affidavit signed by God,’ said Thape.

‘Actual God; had to meet him, and get him to sign it,’ added Thape.