Govt publishes scientific proof for returning to school

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The scientific proof of safety for returning to school in 10 days’ time has turned up blank.

Education minister, Sir Peter Thape is hoping that nobody notices that the report is simply 10 empty pieces of A4 stapled together.

Sir Peter told Cutting News that without childcare in place, nobody can return to work, and the treadmill can’t start up again.

‘Yes, plenty of teachers will die, but that’s the job they signed up for,’ said Thape.

‘We’ll just have another clapping night for them, perhaps a Tuesday,’ he added.