‘Homeless people look like letter boxes,’ says Boris


Boris Johnson has refused to help Britain’s homeless, accusing them of looking like letter boxes, with just their eyes peeping out of their sleeping bags.

Johnson has insisted that the homeless wear regular clothes, and sleep with just a light blanket, instead of a face-covering sleeping bag.

Johnson has also asked how many of the current homeless are home grown, wary of foreign nationals coming in and taking the shop doorways of our own suitably qualified homeless people.

‘If we can only see your eyes, we can’t give you any money,’ insisted Johnson.

‘Pull yourself together, wear some sturdy shoes, and you’ll soon be in a home again,’ added Johnson.