‘I hope that’s all nice and clear for you,’ says Boris


Loads of people are returning to work today, or possibly not, depending on their interpretation of Boris’s statement last night.

Local man, Peter Thape is not sure whether he can or can’t have his hair cut, or how many of his family he can see, or play sports with, in a park or not.

Thape told Cutting News that he might as well make up the rules as he goes along, just like the Prime Minister seems to be

‘Am I still being paid?’ asked Thape.

‘Do I still need to wear a mask when I’m driving?’ he added.