‘It’s just a flesh wound!’ says Theresa May

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Theresa May has written off yesterday as…tis but a scratch.

Theresa May is still confident of getting her doomed Brexit plans through despite only having the support of her cat, and a woman she met at Bridge.

May has called a press conference for this morning, where it is thought that she will announce her decision to become a formula one driver, and a swimwear model.

‘I might call another General Election; increase my majority,’ said May.

‘Today will be another brilliant day,’ added May.