Jobs threatened if we don’t have more wars


Over 2000 staff at Lancashire based BAE Systems face the very dark prospect of pre-Christmas redundancy due to a lack of buyers for their missile delivering military aircraft.

Staff are furious at the lack of war around the globe, and hope that a last minute conflict or massacre could keep them in work until the New Year.

BAE union boss, Peter Thape has asked lily-livered, peace lovin’ countries to ask themselves a few questions about who they ought to be killing.

‘This is a very very sad day for BAE; we’ve been selling death around the globe for many years’ said Thape.

‘Who’s going to tell my children that they won’t be getting the Christmas that they deserve?’ asked Thape.