Keir Starmer to sack everyone who’s ever eaten bacon

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Labour leader, Sir Keir Starmer has pledged to sack anyone in the Party who has previously eaten bacon, in a bid to wipe out any anti-Semitic behaviour.

Starmer has admitted that he will stop at nothing to rid Labour of the anti-Semitic tag that it acquired under the previous leader.

Shadow Cabinet member, Peter Thape has never eaten bacon, but fears that a previous incident with a pork-based sausage could still come back on him.

‘I bought a sausage roll from Greggs for my son,’ said Thape.

‘I had a cheese pasty, but the shop’s CCTV will still have seen the purchase,’ he added.