The nation will gather at 5pm today to clap a final farewell to the NHS, before Boris sells it to the USA.
Boris told Cutting News that the NHS will be sold off in exchange for a deal that gives us bleached chicken and cheaper pharmaceuticals.
Boris wanted to thank those nurses who’d recently saved his life by offering them 3% off shares in the new American owned NHS.
‘Thank you; I always said I’d repay you,’ said Boris.
‘I think you’ll find a 3% reduction in share price says that,’ he added.