Last clap for the NHS before Boris sells it to America

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The nation will gather at 5pm today to clap a final farewell to the NHS, before Boris sells it to the USA.

Boris told Cutting News that the NHS will be sold off in exchange for a deal that gives us bleached chicken and cheaper pharmaceuticals.

Boris wanted to thank those nurses who’d recently saved his life by offering them 3% off shares in the new American owned NHS.

‘Thank you; I always said I’d repay you,’ said Boris.

‘I think you’ll find a 3% reduction in share price says that,’ he added.