May secures Brexit deal to keep UK shoe sizes on labels


Despite fierce European opposition, Theresa May has achieved her primary goal of maintaining British shoe sizes on the labels of shoes and trainers.  

May has offered an undisclosed sum to the EU, believed to be £100 billion which will go to secure sizes 1-12 on all labels beyond March 2019.

EU negotiator, Michel Barnier had suggested that British feet may have to change size and shape after Brexit, but was finally outwitted by smooth talking May.

‘Blah de blah blah blah Brexit. Blah blah blah Brexit Brexit, blah,’ said May.

‘I hope this skilled negotiation justifies all the nonsense that’s going on in the country,’ added May.