New law encourages people to get their acid attacks in nice and early

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Nut cases are celebrating this morning after the government introduced legislation to only punish people caught carrying acid on a second occasion.

Local acid thrower, and angry boyfriend Peter Thape (20) is delighted with the new law that will clear him of any guilt should he be caught with acid on only one occasion.

Thape, whose freelance acid portfolio includes unfaithful girlfriends, local gang work, and honour killings, has promised to never get caught handling acid twice.

‘This new statute is a welcome boost for the acid throwing industry,’ said Thape.

‘Everyone should be able to carry around neat sulphuric acid at least once without worrying about conviction,’ added Thape.