Nigel Farage resigns from…whatever it is that he does

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Original Brexit cock, Nigel Farage has shown solidarity with David Davis and Boris Johnson by resigning from his position on the pub’s Cribbage and Dominoes Committee. 

It is now thought that Farage is to join the rest of the Human Race, who have believed for some time that the NHS were never really going to get an extra £350 million a week.

Farage hopes to continue driving his bus around the country, occasionally stopping and telling groups of wide-eyed people about a promise land of infinite milk and honey.

‘I’ve got plenty of money, and plenty of time – got to do something,’ said Farage.

‘And, I nearly got away with it,’ he added.