Spy’s daughter just fancied a week off work


The daughter of the poisoned Russian spy, Yulia Skripal, has refused to deny the rumours that she simply fancied having a week off work, after making a stunning recovery from her ‘poisoning.’ 

Police became suspicious after a recording of Skripal was handed to police, in which Skripal was heard coughing a bit and saying that she was too sick to come in to work today.

Police Chief, Peter Thape told journalists that this bore all the signs of someone who didn’t fancy going in to work, and then things had simply escalated out of control.

‘We’ve all done that pretend cough, and croaky voice thing,’ said Chief Thape.

‘We’ll have to caution her though, what with the imminent Third World War thing that’s going on, as a result,’ added Chief Thape.