With nobody killed by terrorists in the UK for just over a week, Theresa May has chosen to use this period of calm to threaten the Irish peace process.
May fears that the country is getting cocky about avoiding terrorism, and has decided to bait the smouldering terrorist group, Sinn Féin, for our benefit.
If the government do not reach a deal with The DUP, May will look towards an alliance with The Khmer Rouge Party, or more likely, The Baader-Meinhof.
‘I’m doing all this for you, you know? It’s not for me!’ said May.
‘I could just as easily call another General Election. I’d definitely win,’ added May.