Donald Trump and Sadiq Khan have agreed to fight behind the bike sheds, straight after school finishes.
Both have agreed to a traditional fight, which will start with some pushing, then some more pushing, and possibly some rolling around on the floor.
Local fight watcher, Peter Thape has promised to help form a circle around the two men, and offer occasional goading lines to bring the two men to punches.
‘I’ll be chanting scrap scrap scrap scrap, as is the British way,’ said Thape.
‘There’ll be maybe one actual punch, two maximum,’ predicted Thape.