Midget-handed nutcase, Donald Trump is to win the Nobel Peace prize for his sterling work around the globe in bringing together all people and creeds.
Trump will pick up the annual award next week, ahead of second placed Sir David Attenborough, with fellow nominees Mahatma Gandhi and The Dalai Lama equally disappointed not to scoop the main prize.
Trump has graciously accepted the prize, and plans to open a chain of beef-steak restaurants in Hindu Temples in celebration.
‘I think you’ll find my latest move in Jerusalem should guarantee peace for everyone there,’ offered Trump.
‘No need to thank me,’ added Trump.