‘Volcanoes will be better controlled if we win,’ pledges each Party


All three political leaders have been quick, this morning, to offer solutions to the problem of rogue volcanoes.

Incumbent Premiere, Boris Johnson is offering to privatise volcanoes, with a deal already in place to sell some commonwealth volcanoes to America.  

Whilst Jeremy Corbyn is discussing the Nationalisation of all geysers and sulphur-based hot springs.

‘We will revoke the right for volcanoes to exist,’ said Jo Swinson.

‘Or, worst case, make them face downwards,’ she added.