‘Volcanoes will be better controlled if we win,’ pledges each Party

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All three political leaders have been quick, this morning, to offer solutions to the problem of rogue volcanoes.

Incumbent Premiere, Boris Johnson is offering to privatise volcanoes, with a deal already in place to sell some commonwealth volcanoes to America.  

Whilst Jeremy Corbyn is discussing the Nationalisation of all geysers and sulphur-based hot springs.

‘We will revoke the right for volcanoes to exist,’ said Jo Swinson.

‘Or, worst case, make them face downwards,’ she added.