‘Parsnips shall always be one of the Aldi Super Six,’ said Jesus unto the people

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Jesus, one of the leading characters from The Bible, has insisted that parsnips always feature in the Aldi Super Six at Christmas time.   

Jesus has asked that his birthday should always be marked by the inclusion of sprouts, chardonnay carrots, and Maris Pipers within the same discounted offer.

Jesus added that the true meaning of his birthday should generally include the giving of an iPad to an ungrateful child.

‘Plus, a good deal of my struggle could be interpreted as the need to give presents to your dog,’ said Jesus.

‘Oh, and the people should get wasted on sickly liqueurs,’ added Lord Jesus.