We’re saved! Pope asks God to stop virus

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Mankind has been saved, after Pope Francis revealed that he has asked God to stop Covid-19.

Its great news, and generally means that you can stop wearing that ridiculous face mask in Aldi.

Local virus fearer, Peter Thape is particularly grateful after washing his hands red raw following advice given by a mortal doctor.

‘Right, I’m going back to work, see you later,’ said Thape.

‘And I thought science would have the answer; I apologize,’ added Thape.