Years of pretending there’s a God, earns couple’s child a Faith School place

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Thousands of parents are celebrating this morning after discovering that their years of attending Church have rewarded their child with a place at a Faith School.   

The news came through this morning at the Thape family home, that son Bobby (10) will be avoiding the local scum comprehensive, and will be attending the school bang at the top of the league table.

Dad, Peter Thape has had a few nervous weeks calculating if he’s attended enough shit-boring services on a Sunday morning to gift his son the societal leg-up that he so richly deserves.

‘Thank fuck I can have a lie-in now on Sundays. Phone the Newsagent, love. Order the Mail on Sunday!’ said Thape.

‘You do what you can for your kids. It’s what God would have wanted,’ added Thape.