Airline passengers to be afforded same rights as livestock

pigs in a lorrypigs in a lorry

The European Union has insisted that people who travel on aeroplanes should be entitled to as much space as caged animals have.

Airlines presently calculate passenger space by using the farming standard for transporting pigs to the abattoir, and dividing this figure by two.

But an EU court has ruled that humans should be allowed the same elbow room that condemned animals are granted. Flight attendant, Murial Hislop (46) has been a ‘stewardess’ for 28 years, and seems unaffected by the new ruling.

‘We need the extra space at the back of the plane, so that we can continually re-apply our make-up,’ said trolley dolly, Hislop.

‘This is not how I imagined my life when I started out at 18. If you don’t like the lack of space, get a boat,’ added Hislop.