Are you secretly enjoying dressing as a ninja in Asda?

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Dressing as a bank robber, or a ninja is this year’s surprise spring fashion hit, and everybody’s doing it.

For many people, walking into a bank or a post office dressed as a robber is the fulfilment of their life’s ambition.

Local call centre twat, Peter Thape knows that his virus snood and hat are taking him closer to being a top level spy than his shitty call centre life could ever afford him.

‘When all this ends I’ll just be back to annoying the fuck out of you on the phone,’ said Thape.

‘But for the minute…even buying margarine is sexy,’ added Thape.