Astrology to be stuck up your arse

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The popular activity of staring into the night sky, and naming the star constellations is to be banned, after a three year old found the pastime a complete nonsense.

A complaint from Little Bobby Thape, aged three, has convinced The National Star Spotting Trust to finally accept that finding shapes by playing dot to dot in the sky is heavily floored.

Little Bobby had been subjected to his father’s insistence that some particular star or other (illustrated by his dad pointing towards 10 billion stars) was the exact profile of a piece of traditional farming equipment.

‘He’s telling me It’s a plough, shouting like an idiot, and just pointing upwards,’ said Little Bobby.

‘It could have been a plough, could have been a duck, it’s a blanket of white dots on a black background. Come on?’ questioned Little Bobby.