Banks, f*ck off with your life affirming adverts and just get on with soullessly accruing money

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Banks have been told to stop pretending that they care about people and their life journeys, and just quietly get on with the task of lining their own pockets with your money.

Natwest, Lloyds and other cock institutions have been heavily criticised for making movie-style adverts, with a heart-rending backing track simply in order to capture your business.

Bank customer, Peter Thape does not believe the veracity of the ads, having twice been in A & E last year, but yet failing to see the Lloyd’s black horse running through the triage department on either occasion.

‘I see the banks as a necessary part of society, like a sewage treatment works,’ offered Thape.

‘Don’t see many of their adverts on the telly,’ added Thape.