Beards excellent for pretending that you’re still thin


Beards have been congratulated for helping hide double chins and newly acquired face fat.

As men pile on the pounds, bushy comedy beards from the eighteenth century are being increasingly used to divert attention away from pot bellies, and moobs.

Even women are hoping to cash in on the new weight hiding bonanza, with local average sized woman, Murial Hislop planning to grow a full beard in the next few weeks.

‘I really want to look good in that sleeveless dress for the summer,’ said Hislop.

‘A good, thick beard will draw attention away from my flappy bingos,’ added Hislop.