The Girlguiding group, Brownies are launching a new range of badges today that will better prepare girls for life as aspiring young women.
As modern day female icons have increasing amounts of surgery, young girls need to be ready to amend their shape to fit in with our new shitty world.
Brownies will be encouraged to inject into one another’s foreheads and upper lips in special trainer sessions in the Church Hall.
‘I want eyebrows that look like a five year old has crayoned them on,’ said 9 year old Brownie, Murial Hislop.
‘And big plastic tits, like the real women of Love Island,’ added Hislop.