Butter in suicide pact

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The butter is having none of it in this heat, and has promised to take the milk with him.

The butter, who has remained rigid and proud for the five year winter that he’s just been through, lasted less than an hour into this new regime.

The butter, who has hinted at the milk’s uncomfortable state of mind, has chosen to liquefy in protest against the bizarre weather change.

‘It’s fuckin’ mental,’ said the butter.

‘It’s gone from minus a hundred for the last ten years to being hotter than the sun in a week. I’ve got better things to be going on with,’ added the butter.