The good news is that the rain will eventually stop, at least it always has done in the past, but unfortunately you’ll almost certainly have Coronavirus by then.
Although any jokes about the virus are seeming less funny, there are still a number of people who think it’s just going to go away.
But, sadly that’s not true, and by the summer you won’t be able to fly away on holiday, and this time next year you’ll be hiding off grid, having already eaten one neighbour.
‘Looks like it’s all over then,’ said local man Peter Thape.
‘Looking outside at the endless rain…can’t come soon enough for me,’ added Thape.