Children’s five minute warning meaningless

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A young child has revealed that the warning that parents shout, informing them that they need to leave the house in five minutes, is completely meaningless.

Little Bobby Thape (6) from Nuneaton faces probable exclusion from The National Union of Kids for disclosing this previously guarded child secret.

Whistle-blower, Thape has told reporters that the ‘five minute’ warning is even less effective than being told that it’s time to put your shoes on.

Thape admitted that five minutes is enough time to begin a completely new game of anything he should choose.

‘We have to have some decorum; we leave the house when I say, not when they want to,’ admitted little Bobby.

‘I’m not an idiot, I know that they’ve left some wriggle time for my usual shenanigans,’ added Bobby.