Cock gets his overhead bag down as soon as the plane wheels touch down

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Those plane passengers who reach for their overhead luggage locker as soon as the plane touches down are to be met by an express taxi on the runway.

From January, leading airlines will appoint cab companies to run alongside the plane as it lands, so that important passengers can get into the main airport building quicker.

It is thought that the Weatherfield based private hire company, Street Cars will catch passengers who slide straight off the plane’s wing, and hastily escort them to the five mile passport and immigration queues.

‘I once saw this bloke getting his stuff from the locker before the rear wheels were even on the tarmac,’ said cabin crew chief, Murial Hislop.

‘The idiot still had to wait with everyone else until we’d all redone our make-up though,’ Hislop added.