Dawdling till payers to be properly humiliated, at last


Dithering supermarket customers, who are not ready to pay for their goods at the till, will be made to count-out the contents of their purse over the store’s public address system.

The government has decreed that from January, those who leisurely reach for a deeply buried purse, will be taken away, and made to slowly read out the coin content of their purse over the Tannoy, in a style akin to a young child who is saving up for a finger of fudge.

Supermarket customer, Peter Thape (28) fears being behind an old lady at the till more than he fears the abduction of his only child.

‘Why’s it such a shock that they have to pay when they’re at the till? Just pay up, and get out!’ said Thape.

‘This legislation should have come in years ago. There should be an age limit on shopping,’ added Thape.