Decline in phone cord twirling leading to fat-handed children

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The escalating epidemic of chubby digits on young people has been put down to the now lapsed tradition of twirling the phone cable round your fingers whilst on extended phone calls.

The government has appeased angry glove manufacturers by offering training courses for people under 25, who have no experience of the old phones or the practice of huddling by the telephone twisting the cord round and round as the conversation thickened.

Peter Thape (47) will teach at the training centres, which will all be fitted with a wall mounted phone, and a kitchen cupboard to lean against.

‘I’m nearly fifty, and these fingers are bone thin,’ said Thape.

‘After a long phone call, you can let the receiver dangle free and all the twists will straighten out again,’ Thape added.