The Government will use today’s Queen’s Speech to ensure that little silver bottles of Nitrous Oxide will be supplied to every playground, wasteland, and grass verge in the country.
The bold boast has come from The Minister for Adolescent Drug Use, Peter Thape, who wants the silver bottles in every car park, and lay-by by the end of the year.
Thape recently visited a children’s play area where, to his horror, he found no discarded bottles at all.
‘I want bottles and I want balloons out there; near the slides, next to the roundabouts, and under the see-saw,’ said Thape.
‘This is not a laughing matter,’ added a stoic Thape.