Everyone ready to go to bed by ten past seven on these dark winter nights

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The nation is constantly checking the clock, to see if it’s time to go to bed yet.

Local man, Peter Thape seems to have had his dinner, and done the washing up 6.30, and is pretty much kicking around wondering if he can go to bed yet.

Thape (37) has checked on the internet to see what is the earliest time that he can go to bed without feeling too weird?

‘The winter’s fucking madness. I looked at the clock before, thinking it was about 11 o’clock, and it was five to six,’ said Thape.

‘If it was the summer, you’d be doing stuff. It’s just shit!’ added Thape.