Everyone you’ve ever met running The London Marathon

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Facebook might be the place to avoid this week as every person in the whole world, except you, is running the London marathon.

Local Facebook user, Peter Thape has calculated that responding to every JustGiving request this week will cost him about two months wages.

Thape has been watching his ‘Facebook friends,’ getting thinner, fitter, and happier whilst he’s gorged on chocolate digestives from a distance.

‘There are three birthdays at work this week, as well,’ said Thape.

‘You can’t afford to belong to society. I just want a shack in the woods,’ added Thape.