Is it worth buying flowers on a Friday, when you might have sex anyway?

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Men are facing a difficult question today about whether to invest in Valentine’s flowers on a day of the week when they already have half a chance of some rudeness.

As everybody knows, women drink enough alcohol on a Friday to find their husband’s dangly bits attractive enough to partake in the nasty.

Thus, local husband, Peter Thape is trying to weigh up the need for a £5 spend on a cursory bunch of forecourt flowers.

‘I’d have preferred a Monday for a Valentine’s Day,’ said Thape.

‘Seems a bit of a waste, having it on a Friday, when I’m already odds on for a fumble,’ he added.