It’s National ‘Buy a load of shit you don’t need’ Day

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The nation is celebrating the chance to buy all the stuff that they don’t need or want today.

People everywhere are getting excited about increasing their trouser count from 25 pairs to 26, or finding a wall in their house without a TV on.

Local mum, Murial Hislop has found that one of her children has only got five electrical devices on the go, and needs that i/Echo/Kindle/Alexa shit thing desperately.

‘I noticed that one of the plug sockets was free, and knew I had to buy something immediately,’ said Hislop.

‘The children will be angry with me if they’ve not got 6 electrical things by their bed,’ she added.