Madonna releases haemorrhoids 60th birthday calendar

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Madonna’s tasteful birthday haemorrhoids photo shoot has been well received by her legions of fans.  

The pop icon, who would normally be quite shy about showing off her body, has used ‘April’ to show her post–curry farmers, and ‘October’ for a stylish endoscopy shot.

Massive fan, Peter Thape had been hoping that Madonna might reveal a little more of herself in the new birthday calendar.

‘We haven’t seen her spleen, or anything inside her pancreas yet,’ said Thape.

‘Sometimes, I think she wrote the songs just for me,’ added Thape.